The new film from the modern Hammer, The Woman In Black, is heading to cinemas on 10th February, starring Daniel Radcliffe in the leading role. And we’ve already seen the traditional theatrical poster for the film.
But we haven’t seen this before: a special, old-style Hammer-themed poster for The Woman In Black, which we’re exclusively bringing you here.
It’s been officially produced, and while you won’t see it outside your local multiplex, it’s a fine, fine piece of work…
Oh god, Hammer, I want so badly to love you
I mean, good god, Daniel Radcliffe and haunted houses and Christopher Lee doing whatever it is he does and scantily clad women wearing the fakest vampire teeth you’ve ever seen in your life.
It’s like everything that’s right and good.
It is everything that’s right and good. And that old-fashioned poster, heavens, it’s perfect!
We’re gonna take all of the awards, and then we’re clone all of the awards, and then we’re gonna give all of all of the awards to Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith and Daniel Radcliffe. And if we have any awards left over, we’re gonna give those to Jason Issacs and Helen McRory. And then we’re gonna give two special awards after that: one to Helena Bonham Carter and one to Ralph Fiennes.
Everyone was amazing and the whole movie was awesome but those are the people who really fucking acted the shit out of every second of every second the most. Super massive awards for them all.
But extra super massive awards for Rickman, Smith and Radcliffe. Holy shit, you guys. Holy shit.
I’ve always been comfortable with my male friends, we joke around, we’re close. But, starting in middle school, people began asking me are you guys dating? Is he your boyfriend? Do you love him? Are you guys dating? That started in middle school, and it hasn’t stopped yet. I suppose it’s too much to hope that it ever will.
So I’m used to it. But I am not okay with it.
Please believe me when I tell you, there are very few things as unfailing obnoxious, irritating and flat-out infuriating as having people suspect that you are, or tell you that you should be, hooking up with someone who is just your friend. With someone you consider a kind of cousin or sibling. With someone about whom you have no sexual feelings.
I understand that it can be fun to speculate about other people’s personal lives. I also understand that, yes, there are some people that we think would make wonderful couples, that we want to see together, etc., etc. But, being the subject of that speculation or encouragement is just no fun at all. In fact, it kind of sucks.
All of which makes me think that Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe, Tom Felton and Rupert Grint are truly some of the most dignified, self-possessed people on the planet. If I had to field endless questions and speculation on the scale they’ve had to, I would have lost my shit by now.
So I tip my hat to you, Miss Watson, Mister Grint, Mister Felton, and Mister Radcliffe, for being unflaggingly gracious. You’re all kind of incredible.